What is a Quafaie?


Quafaie (pronounced: kwa FAY) are fantasy creatures that exist in the fantasy writing of Hugh Kemeny, and are created by him. They are primarily in Hugh Kemeny’s Black Phoenix short stories...

To learn more, read this post: What is a Quafaie?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 31

Thursday 31 January 2008
Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?
- Thomas Wolfe

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Comics

Who doesn't like to read comics?
I always enjoy reading them, some strips more than others. So here is a list of my favourites (which will be updated occasionally).
I've also posted these links on the right side for quick access, along with the link to this post for descriptions of the comics.

I have a code before the comic indicating when it is updated, which is as follows:
D = daily
S,M,T,W,R,F,A = weekly on Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat
? = unknown/uncertain
no. = every x number days/weeks. i.e. 2T = every 2nd Tuesday

In alphabetical order:

F - Bob the Angry Flower - Canadian comic that is totally off the wall. I was introduced to it in University.
? - Boy Meets Hero - A comic I found last year about the coming out of a gay superhero. It has the complete comic book online.
D - Calvin & Hobbes - Don't have much to say, other than a comic of a kid and his wild imagination.
D - Dilbert - Office comic about engineers. I know many engineers, which is why I read it.
D - For Better or For Worse - Daily comic following the life of a Canadian family. In 1993 the coming out of one of the secondary characters caused quite a stir (see Lawrence's Story under Explore More!)
S? - FoxTrot - Family comic. I enjoy it because of the nerdiness of the youngest son (I can relate to him). Unlike For Better of For Worse, the characters here have not grown up.
D - Non Sequitur - One panel comic.
W - Space Boiz - Gay space adventure comic.
2T - Troy - Comic about gay life. (That's the best way I know how to describe it.)

Zen a day - Jan 30

Wednesday 30 January 2008
The posture itself is satori.
- Taisen Deshimaru

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 29

Tuesday 29 January 2008
Do not seek for the truth, do not cut off delusions.
- Yung-chia

Monday, January 28, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 28

Monday 28 January 2008
When I hear I see, when I see I hear.
- Zen koan

Random thoughts 1...

I don't know why this came to my mind earlier, but it did....

When I was younger (like a young teen or almost that age), I like the idea of switching some rhyming words in nursery. One of my favourites, because it gave me a laugh, and still does is:

Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!

Which becomes:
Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of pie,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a rye.
When the pie was opened the birds began to king,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the sing?
The king was in his counting house counting out his honey,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and money
The maid was in the garden hanging out the nose,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her clothes!

Of course a few minor changes in small words can make it funnier - but I'll let you figure that out.


Also on the topic of random thoughts....
It is pretty well known that the vampire Dracula is straight; he likes to suck blood from women's necks....
So what does a gay vampire suck? and from where?


Ok, pulling my mind back out of the gutter and back to work - oh look a sewer....

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 27

Sunday 17 January 2008
You will always exist in the universe in one form or another.
- Shunryu Suzuki

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Labelization

Recently I signed up on the website MeetNudeMen.com, and while I was exploring the site I came across the forums and one on g0ys. Now I had heard of the term once or twice before (I wonder how it is pronounced: ‘goy’ or ‘g-zero-y’ or something else?). After reading a little of the posts I ventured to the main website: g0ys.org where I felt overwhelmed by the flashiness of the site (this sort of thing can turn me off a site; to me it looks like they are trying to sell you something you don’t need). Because of that, I only skimmed the site, and because I only skimmed the site, I am not going to mention much beyond my first impressions.

What I got out of my wanderings into the wonderings of what is g0y is essentially the following points:
1) That ever man has, to some degree, affections towards other men.
2) That anal-sex is evil (either M-M or M-F).
3) That society is pushing a narrow-minded view of what being gay is.

I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and belief, including what they consensually do behind closed doors (provided it is not illegal or discriminating against others), so if I may agree on any of their other points, I don’t agree on their view of anal-sex.

As research has shown that male-to-male bonding happens in nature, not just homo sapiens, so to has it shown that anal-sex happens elsewhere in nature. Anal-sex has also been around for centuries, and nothing new. During one of Western Europe’s most enlightening periods it was a common act. Mind you, during the Greco-Roman Empire women were not people, and slaves were common place. I do not say we revert to all that, but one should not say that because we have abolished slavery and recognized not only women, but those of different races, as people, that we should abolish anal-sex. Now I could go on, but essentially if all parties consent, then who am I to say that one can not be the slave of another, or have anal-sex.

The other two points I have mentioned I agree with what I read on the g0y site. Though I think I can sum up the problems of both in a single question: Why must we label everything?

By labelling we start to make assumptions, a label becomes a logo, brand, or icon for an idea, movement, or concept, one that is usually more complicated than the label gives credit.

When I was coming to terms with my sexuality (what many people would label ‘coming out’, but before that I was not sexually interested in either sex, though I was attracted to both), I soon discovered that many people who label themselves as gay are afraid of those that label themselves as bi. This, I found, lead to many saying “bi is the place where gay people are still in denial.” How comforting is this to a man who likes to be in the company of other men, they get the sexual energy, and might even do something with another man, but ultimately will go home and be with his wife? Gay people who say they believe that bi is only a resting point before discovering one is truly gay, are almost as narrow minded as the Religious ones who condone homosexuality in any form.

Now I know not all gay people are like this, but in the ‘gay world’ it is prevalent. Now by ‘gay world’ I mean the clubs and bars and places where society sees gay people congregate. And that only adds to the perceptions, as media love to give only what they deem to be news worthy and easy for the public to understand, so they tend to focus on the stereotypes.

For me, after a few months of talking with friends, and exploring some of my sexuality, I came to a point that I believed I was between bi and gay; as I viewed sexuality as a spectrum. Since that point I have clarified my definition of the sexuality spectrum, and show it below:


Sex Spectrum 1D
- Pure Heterosexuality: is by which a person only has feeling for the opposite sex, they are indifferent to others of the same sex.
- Pure Homosexuality: is by which a person only has feeling for others of the same sex, and are indifferent to others of the opposite sex.
- Bisexual: is by which a person is capable of having the same level of feelings for either sex.
* The meaning of indifference in this context: that the person would only have basic human compassion for the other they are indifferent to, they would not normally socialize with them, and have absolutely no romantic interest.


By my definition, I do not know anyone that is purely heterosexual (most straight men I know have male friends), though for purely homosexual people I know, I am not sure, but probably most of my gay friends have at least one female friend. Therefore everyone is somewhere in the middle. And I sit between bi and gay.

The world’s fixation on labels make it difficult for me to answer the question “are you gay?” when asked (though that question in itself should not necessarily need to be asked), or when telling someone I am dating my ‘sexual preference.’ This is because as soon as I mention bi, most people react with fear – like I would leave them for the next person that comes in the door, or that I am indecisive. And few I have talked with grasp the concept of the sexuality spectrum, wanting me to define, or label myself: “so are you bi or gay?”

Each of these terms, bi and gay, have their own stereotypes. I have mentioned the prominent one of bisexual already. I have found that if I say I am gay, quite often a follow-up question is: “you a bottom or a top?”

Now if you think it was difficult for me to answer: “are you bi or gay?” It is even more difficult to answer “are you a bottom or a top?” – needless to say I have not had much experience either way to label myself, including using the label of ‘versatile’.

The mere fact that the question: “are you a bottom or a top?” is generally a early follow up to identifying oneself as being gay (or sometimes even bi), proves a partial point of g0y: that to be gay one must identify with having anal-sex.

From what little I read it looks like g0y is just pushing more of this narrow-mindedness of labelization of society. It is unfortunate that being gay has the connotations of full on male to male sexual relationship, including the act of anal intercourse.

It is also sad to see people who claim to be open-minded and accepting of others to make others define themselves to societal labels, and then impose society’s stereotype of that label on them.

But I guess in our ever increasing, fast-paced, corporate society we are all looking for the least number of words to say the most about either ourselves, others, or the world around us.

I may label myself, and depending on the day that label is different.
I try not to label myself by my profession, though I do under certain circumstances. If I label myself based on my interests and hobbies (creative writing, quilting, chainmail), I usually use the generic ‘artist’
When needing to label myself sexually, I have tended to jump back and forth between a few: gay, as it is the most common, and requires the least discussion about; bi, when I want another to know that I am still attracted to women (though it tends not to be overly sexual); and most recently queer. Part of why I find it difficult to label myself sexually is that I am much more attracted to a person’s spirit, personality, and intelligence, rather than their looks. That does not mean I’m not attracted to the way people look, just that to have a long term relationship (friendship or committed romantic relationship), there must be some form of attraction on that deeper level. This is partly why I consider my self queer…

And so I am slowly taking on Queer as my label of choice, because it not only defines my sexuality, but aspects of my personality too.

From The Oxford Handy Dictionary (© 1978, Sixth Edition reprinted 1987):
queer
a., v., & n. 1. a. Strange, odd, eccentric; of questionable character, shady, suspect; out of sorts, giddy or faint, (feeling queer); (sl., esp. of man) homosexual. 2. v.t. (sl.) Put out or order. 3. n. (sl.) (Esp. male) homosexual. [orig. uncert.]

And I am definitely a strange, odd, and eccentric person.

Zen a day - Jan 26

Saturday 26 January 2008
What is happening here and now is obstructed by happening itself; it has sprung free from the brains of happening.
- Dōgen

Friday, January 25, 2008

Bonnie Robbie Burns Day

So today is Robbie Burns day, celebrating the birth of the Scottish poet. Probably his most well know poem/song is 'Auld Lang Syne' which is popularly sung on New Year's Eve (thanks in part to Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians).

Keeping with the general seasonal theme of my HNT posts (post 1 and 3), here is Robert Burns' poem Winter: A Dirge (copied from page 4 of 'The Poetical Works of Robert Burns. Edited with a critical memoir by William Michael Rossetti.' Publication date unknown.)


WINTER:
A Dirge.
This poem was copied into Burns's Commonplace Book, with the remarks appended :- "As I am what the men of the world, if they knew such a man, would call a whimsical mortal, I have various sources of pleasure and enjoyment which are in a manner peculiar to myself, or some here and there such out-of-the-way person. Such is the peculiar pleasure I take in the season of Winter more than the rest of the year. This, I believe, may be partly owing to my misfortunes giving my mind a melancholy cast : but there is something oven in the
'Mighty tempest, and the heavy wast,
Abrupt, and deep, strtch'd o'er the buried earth,'
which raises the mind to a serious sublimity favourable to everything great and noble. There is scarcely any earthly object gives me more - I do not know if I should call it pleasure - but something which exalts me - something which entraptures me - than to walk in the sheltered side of a wood, or high plantation, in a cloudy winter-day, and hear the stormy wind howling among the trees and raving over the plain. It is my best season for devotion : my mind is rapt up in a kind of enthusiasm to Him, who, in the pompous language of the Hebrew bard, 'walks on the wings of the wind.' In one of these seasons, just after a train of misfortunes, I composed the following :"


The wintry west extends his blast,
And hail and rain does blaw ;
Or, the stormy north send driving forth
The blinding sleet and snaw :
While tumbling brown, the burn comes down,
And roars frae bank to brae ;
And bird and beast in covert rest,
And pass the heartless day.

"The swpeeping blast, the sky o'ercast," *
The joyless winter-day,
Let others fear, to me more dear
Than all the pride of May :
The tempest's howl, it soothe my soul,
My griefs it seems to join ;
The leafless trees my fancy please,
Their fate resembled mine!

Thou Power Supreme, whose mighty scheme
These woes of mine fulfil,
Here, firm, I rest, they might be best,
Because they are Thy will!
Then all I want (oh, do Thou grant
This one request of mine!)
Since to enjoy Thou dost deny,
Assist me to resign.


* Dr. Young.

Zen a day - Jan 25

Friday 25 January 2008
Why can't the clear-eyed Bodhisattvas sever the red thread?
- Zen koan

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 24

Thursday 24 January 2008
We boil at different degrees.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

from pockets

I noticed about a month ago that my spare keys were missing. As I was doing a little tidy up today I decided to check the pockets of my jackets, in case I had used my spare set and left them in the pocket of an autumn jacket.

I did not find the keys, but this is what I did find, amounst the pockets of 7 jackets:
3 used bus tickets
1 credit card receipt from a massage appointment
2 ATM bank statements
3 hotel bottles of hand lotion
2 notepads
small packet of extra buttons
and 3 saying from fortune cookies (from a trip in the beginning of December).

Here are the fortune cookie sayings (with 'in bed' in brackets after, as that is one of the ways I know of making them funnier):

- Good thinkgs come in invisible packages. You will be delighted (in bed).
- Happiness surrounds your events this week (in bed).
- You will obtain your goal if you maintain your course (in bed).

Zen a day - Jan 23

Wednesday 23 January 2008
Mountain after mountain witout a bird,
a thousand pathes without a footprint,
a simple boat, a cloak of bamboo,
an old man fishing in the falling snow.
- Liu Tsung-yüan

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Reflections on the past

Another post on Assielicious (This or that? - Nude with family) got me thinking about my nudist past. I say I have only really started being a nudist recently, but that is only consciously.

I know that since I was a teen I enjoyed being naked in my room, and around my parent’s place when they were not there. I remember watching the final episode of Star Trek the Next Generation naked at home alone, at age 16 (wow has it been 14 years since it ended!). As I recall it was my older sister’s High School Grad Banquet that night, and I was not invited…. Which was fine as I could not miss the final episode of TNG (I will admit I was a Trekie – the story of how I ‘got a life’ will come another time).

I was also told that when I was a youngster (about 3-5 years old I think), I would quite often change into pyjamas in the living room, in front of any guests that were there. I believe I was told to grow out of it (changing in the living room).

My parents are not nudists, nor do I think they oppose the idea, it was just not considered appropriate (socially acceptable) to be naked in public. Though they did make it to the play I was naked on stage last year (yes that story still needs to be told too).

That being said, I think my parents were just making sure that the general social norm was what we (I) should be learning to abide by, since there were other times, under their knowledge, that social nudity did occur (though not with them).

One such is a photo (which I will get my hands on the next time I’m visiting my parents) when I was 2 years old, where I was in the bath with my sister (about 3 or 4 years old) and a couple of neighbourhood friends around the same age.

Also, my elementary school would go camping at least once a year (I went to a private, Waldorf, school that taught according to Rudolf Steiner’s philosophy), and I tended to be the only guy in a tent with a couple girls, we saw each other naked and there was no trepidation about that (either by us or by the teachers or parents – mind you this was when I was about 7 to 11). I now recall being naked a few times at sleepovers also around that age range.

All in all, I grew up with nudity being natural, but generally socially frowned upon. That is perhaps why I am still cautious about being naked out of my home, because I am not sure it is socially (or legally) acceptable to do so.

"Our Deepest Fear...."

I found the following quote on a bookmark and quite liked it:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson, American author

Zen a day - Jan 22

Tuesday 22 January 2008
The more talking and thinking, the farther from the truth.
- Seng-ts'an

Monday, January 21, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 21

Catch up on the Zen a day:

Saturday 19 January 2008
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Sunday 20 January 2008
Two monks were arguing about the temple flag waving in the wind. One monk said: "The flag moves." The other said: "The wind moves." back and forth they argued. Coming upon them, Hui-neng, the Sixth Patriatch, said: "Monks! It is not the flag that moves. It is not the wind that moves. It is your mind that moves!" The two monks were awestruck.
- Zen koan

Monday 21 January 2008
There was an old woman who kept the pilgrim's inn under Mount Fuji. One day she went to hear a long talk by the master Hakuin, which wnded with the question: "When you are looking for the Biddha of infinate light in your own body, how would you recognize it?"
The woman, thinking this wasn't so hard, went back home and meditated day and night. One day, as she was washing a pot, she had a breakthrough. She rushed to see Hakuin.
"I've met him, the Buddha, shining with a great light. It's wonderful!" and she danced for joy.
"Really," said Hakuin. "What about a pit of shit. Does it shine witha great light?"
The old woman ran up and slapped him. "You still don't get it, do you?"
Hakuin roared with laughter
- Zen Mondo

Friday, January 18, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 18

Friday 18 January 2008
When hungry, eat your rice. When tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.
- Lin-Chi

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 17

Thursday 17 January 2008
Just think of the trees: They let the birds perch and fly, with no intention to call them when they come and no longing for their return when they fly away. If people's hearts can be like the trees, they will not be off the Way.
- Langya

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 16

Wednesday 16 January 2008
Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose.
- Cyril Connolly

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Zen a day - Jan 15

Tuesday 15 January 2008
Refraining from all evil, not clinging to birth and death, working in deep compassion for all sentient beings, respecting those over you and pitying those below you, without any detesting or desiring, worrying, or lamentation - this is what is called Buddha. Do not search beyond it.
- Dōgen

Monday, January 14, 2008

The (gay) Dance (club) - poem by Hugh Kemeny

That last Zen a day (for today), inspired me to post some more erotic writings I have under Hugh Kemeny, as one poem came to mind. I am not sure yet I want this sort of thing on my main writing site (http://HughKemeny.ca)

Here is the poem:

The (gay) Dance (club)

Eyes meet across the dance floor
Sliding, dancing together, by the rhythm of the music
Eyes locked, smiles of lust and intention shown
Hands, arms, thighs touch
Intimate erotic dancing ensues
Heat, passion, sweat, lust
Hands cup ass as lips meet in kiss of introduction
Blood pulsates, erections, hormones tantalise
Hands seek pleasure points, squeeze ass,
Slide along back, up chest, play with nipples
Kissing neck, sucking ear, cocks rubbing
Hormones raging, passion driving, beat increasing
Shirts come off, exposing hot sweaty chests
Dance intensifies, eroticism increases
Rubbing bodies, licking chest, French kissing
Tension builds, erections throb to the music
A look, a smile, a nod, and escape from the crowd
Into privacy, animal instincts surface
Raw lust ravishes the body
Lick, suck, kiss, pain, pleasure
Moans, pants, grunts, screams, euphoria
Climax
Release of sexual energy
The moment of love passing
In a dark corner, clothes return
Beat of the dance echoing in the silence
A look, a smile, a nod, return to the crowd
Dance close, final kiss, disappear in the rhythm
Moment passed, guy gone, as memories resound

- by Hugh Kemeny

Zen a day - Jan 14

I have not posted in a few days as I was in Edmonton spending time with my boyfriend, and family. So here are the Zen a day for the weekend:

Saturday 12 January 2008
Open your mouth and you're wrong.
- Zen saying

Sunday 13 January 2008
Seung Sahn and a student were having a conversation which finally came to this question from the master: "If you were seventy years old ans someonw asked, 'What did you attain?', how would you answer?"
The student hit the floor with his fist.
"Not a bad answer. But what if you had no hands? See? Before you were born, you had no eyes, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind. And no hands. Soon enough, you'll die, and you'll have no eyes, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind, no hands. So then what are you?"
The student bowed, and thanked the master for his teaching.

Monday 14 January 2008
When you've got it, there's no place for it but a poem.
- Wu Pen

Friday, January 11, 2008

Zen a day

For the new year I got a Zen page-a-day calendar.
Here are the sayings todate:

Tuesday 1 January 2008
All at once the roshi, the room, every single thing disappeared in a dazzling stream of illumination and I felt myself bathed in a delicious, unspeakable delight . . . For a fleeting eternity I was alone - I alone was . . .
- A student describing Kensho

Wednesday 2 January 2008
The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.
- George Baker

Thursday 3 January 2008
The monk Hyakujjo and his master, Baso, were taking a walk when a wild duck flew by. "What is that?" Baso asked. "A wild duck," Hyakujo replied. "And where did it go?" Baso asked. Hyakujo replied: "It is gone." With that, Baso violently tweaked Hyakujo's nose. When Hyakujo yelled in pain, Baso said, "There! Where can it go?" The effect was to cause Hyakujo's sudden enlightenment.
The next day, after he paid homage to Baso, Hyakujo returned to his room and started crying out loud. A monk asked him what was the matter, and he said to go ask Baso. When the monk did this, Baso said to go ask Hyakujo. But when the monk returned to Hyakujo's room, Hyakujo was laughing heartily. The monk was baffled, but all Hyakujo could say was, "I cried a while ago, but now I laugh."
- Zen story

Friday 4 January 2008

If you want to understand Zen easily, just be mindless, wherever you are, twenty-four hours a day, until you spontaneously merge with the Way. This is what an ancient worthy called "The mind not touching things, the step placed anywhere."
- Ying-an

Saturday 5 January 2008
When I play from my mind I get in trouble.
- Stevie Ray Vaughan

Sunday 6 January 2008
God made the senses turn outwards, man therefore looks outwards, not into himself. But occasionally a daring soul, desiring immortality, has looked back and found himself.
- The Upanishads

Monday 7 January 2008
The Scholar gains every day; the man of Tao loses every day.
- Lao-tsu

Tuesday 8 January 2008
Take long walks in stormy weather or through deep snows in the fields and woods, if you would keep your spirits up. Deal with brute nature. Be cold and hungry and weary.
- Henry David Thoreau

Wednesday 9 January 2008
A nameless bird
looks cold
in the wintry blast.
- Sampu

Thursday 10 January 2008
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
- Albert Einstein

Friday 11 January 2008
Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
- Oscar Wilde