What is a Quafaie?


Quafaie (pronounced: kwa FAY) are fantasy creatures that exist in the fantasy writing of Hugh Kemeny, and are created by him. They are primarily in Hugh Kemeny’s Black Phoenix short stories...

To learn more, read this post: What is a Quafaie?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

What's the point

I sometimes wonder what the point of it is.
For example why do I have these blogs, especially if I don't have the time to update them. For that matter why don't I take the time to do the things I should be doing, or take little time to do - like updating my favourite pics blog.

Life is only as tough as you perceive it, but it it not an easy ride either. Yet I seem to have been treating it as such (easy) recently.

This rant is just thoughts off the top of my head, perhaps it will be good to say these, perhaps not. Perhaps it will look as if my blog is of importance (though I still doubt that slightly).

The past few days, to nearly a week, I haven't done much productive work, even though I should have, and have important deadlines all this next week, Why have I not been working or focusing? I do not know.

Perhaps it is reaching near a year since I started making some major changes in my life and I am feeling more and more uncertain about them. Perhaps I am just afraid to face my future. Perhaps I also tend to find ways of sabotaging my successes - in at least my mind. Perhaps my hope, dreams and desires lay beyond what I have before me.

I know that I have been having a growing desire to find someone over the past few weeks. Someone to be a true friend and confidant, if not someone to date and help me feel less lonely. I have housemates, and friends around, but yet I tend to isolate myself, and I do not understand why. I see it related to my chronic procrastination, that I always have something I should be doing and don't do. Yet I know that if I were to get my work done, I'd have the freedom to do as I please - for a short term (until the next assignment).

I am feeling hollow and unmotivated. Scared and uncertain in the future I suddenly created. Ideas, hopes and aspirations in this change are waning. Perhaps I am beginning to wake up from the dream of this new start in life; waking up to the realization that nothing much has changed.

Gawd, I need a kick in the ass to get myself going. Something to spark that inspiration and passion in me again. Something to break me from my habits that constantly lead me back into this path of occasional feelings of loneliness and momentary depression.

*sigh* I know it will work out; especially if I put the work in.